Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Refute/refuse

I am going to attempt a.....something......in response to all of the "solutions" in the wake of Friday's tragedy. I guess it would be a refutation, maybe a refusal to accept, the illogical, irrational, and downright fucking stupid things the Internet is abuzz with.

First, the disclaimer: The language contained herein may be offensive to some. So too, the ideas. Parental supervision is required. If this were a tv show it would be rated awesome. If it were a movie it would be even more awesome.

Let us begin with the big "solution".

Gun control.

Um, no. That's about as eloquently as I can put it. Banning guns will solve nothing. It will not deter crime. A ban on guns will only increase the number of criminals. That's a fact, by the way. Supply and demand, black market, high prices, low quality, violent crime. I could continue to economic you all to death, but I won't. Suffice to say, I'm right.

Moving on to the next "solution". There are many variations of this, so I'll simplify as much as possible.

The God solution.

The Internet is going nuts with various reasons involving God. They are the most illogical and irrational ones. "It happened because God isn't allowed in schools." Seriously? Are you fucking retarded? I cannot even begin to fathom your stupidity if you believe this. So because government has moved to remove any and all religion from public schools, God sends/allows a crazy gunman to go to Connecticut to murder children and teachers? This inspires greater faith? More like fear. This isn't an argument for a greater need for faith. If anything, it has the exact opposite affect. It's implying that God is a vindictive, sadistic asshole who murders babies to coerce faith through misery. A real Christian who believes in love and whatnot should be offended by a claim such as that. God isn't banned from movie theaters but some nut job killed people in one.

Now I'll go ahead and offend that person too. Saying God has a plan or special purpose or works in mysterious ways is just as bad. He still allowed kids to be gunned down. A peaceful death during sleep would've sent the same message. What most of faith are experiencing during a tragedy like this is cognitive dissonance. You cannot connect your belief system with the reality in front of you, so you rationalize your faith to fit reality.

It's not about Christian values, either. I'm an atheist. I'm not breaking into schools murdering children. I'm not murdering anybody for that matter. Neither are millions of other Americans who don't "have the faith." It's an empty argument.

What all of these arguments are doing is claiming that God is a murdering tyrant at worst and a clinically detached, utilitarian economist at best, none of which has our best interests at heart. So get off that religious pulpit. You detract from the tragedy to selfishly promote religion.

Another "solution" - get rid of violent movies and video games.

Nope, sorry. Wrong again. The fact millions of others play games and war h movies without massacring children disproves that claim. As long as there have been people, they've been killing each other. If the claim that being exposed to violent imagery makes insane murderers, then every military member (active or not), every law enforcement official, EMT, first responder, war correspondent, and all the others I've left out, would do nothing but slaughter all who live. Again, I'm not on a murderous rampage.



Those are just a few of the downright irrational, illogical, fucking stupid claims as to how we should prevent or explain what has just happened. Here are some facts: the guy was crazy. He killed his mother and stole her firearms. He used the ill begotten weapons to murder innocent children and teachers. He showed no regard for the law from the beginning. He was determined to kill. No amount of law or prayer was going to change that. It is horrible. It is heartbreaking. But it's the sad truth.

Maybe a better solution would be to put more money into the public schools system instead of sneaky, arbitrary, underhanded public funding of useless projects like pork research or bow and arrow research. Yes, the govt has ear marked money for projects like that. Much worse too, I'm sure. Bullet proof glass could be a start. Restricting access to schools via fencing, video monitoring, visitor waiting and check in areas, no open campus. All are things to consider. They will not stop a truly determined individual, but they provide some measure of defense that is more than what currently exists. It's a start. An increased reexamination of mental health and what can be done with those individuals is another. Something more permanent that doesn't involve more drugs and sending them on their way.

I think I'm done for now. This shit was really bothering me. I may come up with more latter.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Abyssal Undulations

It can be seen, sometimes, just at the edge of vision.

That subtle shudder in the fabric of reality.
Undulating coils pushing at the membrane.
Writhing amidst a susurration of grasping things.
The quickest of glimpses into the underpinnings of the waking world.
A cyclopean mass, corpse white, seething with the madness of aeons.
Insinuating itself into the crevices of rationality.
Corrupting with its tenebrous touch.
A sickly sweet miasma of unspeakable things.
The walls are wearing thin.
The crescendo is building.
Sanity wanes, swept asunder by the laughter of dark gods.
Caught in the undertow of the void: those tractless gulfs between the stars.


It is there, at the edge of sight, betwixt the waking and dream.

And it hungers.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Thoughts and Musings from a Deranged Mind

A nation divided in its priorities.

A Congress divided in its parties.

A Supreme Court that views the Constitution as a convenience to be discarded when the situation warrants.

A smear campaign used as an obfuscation of the truth: a distraction.

A government that argues, not about the direction it's headed, but about the mode of transportation used to arrive at the inevitable destination.

A population that willingly hands the system its freedom of rational thought for freedom to not think for itself.

A population that willingly swallows a razor blade, candy coated in altruism and fair shares.

A fanatical religion taking over regions for the will of an imaginary figment.

A continent of countries on the verge of collapse due to the same methods being forced upon us.

These are the truths I cannot help but observe.

And I am afraid.

I am afraid that the inefficient policies of the last 8 years will only become more inefficient.

I am afraid we will continue to allow our individual freedoms to be eroded.

I am afraid that we have become too complacent.

I am afraid we're going to continue to play with our broken economy, smashing it against the rocks, dragging it through the dirt, bemoaning its condition, but blaming everyone else for its state of disrepair.

I am afraid of what kind of world my sons will grow up to witness: global chaos.

So I pray.

I pray with every particle of my soul to whatever will listen: god, gravity, Cthulhu, Carl Sagan, that we can change the course.

That we can step back from the precipice.

That the current administration can really do something good.

That the individual will matter again.

I want to be wrong.

I want my fears to be unfounded.

I want to be called a loon. For everyone to scream "I told you so!" We knew it would be ok!"

Or am I just a solipsistic madman rationalizing the voices in my crowded skull, arguing against my collective consciousness from within the padded cell that is the reality I've created?

Man, I hope I'm wrong.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

In Memoriam

With reverence we pay homage to all who have payed the cost for duty, for honor, for freedom, for an idea.

We lose sight of those that have gone before us, all too often. We forget what has been given on our behalf so that we may enjoy the lifestyles we are accustomed to. We are what we because their are others who have paid that price.

They've paid it willingly.

They still pay.

They have not sacrificed. They have freely given.

To sacrifice would be to cheapen everything they've done. A sacrifice is trading something of greater value for something less. This is not the case. What has been given was more valuable than a single life. It is for the idea of freedom: for the freedom of future generations, so that, hopefully, our children will never have see what they've seen.

Alas, history shows the lie therein.

They have given their lives, these unsung heroes, for those unworthy of their deeds, for people who besmirch their honor and loyalty. Yet they give just the same.

We should take a moment to reflect, to remember those brave soldiers in foreign lands who will never return home, not just today, but every day.

We should thank them on bended knee for all that we are and for possibility to be more.

We keep them alive in our hearts. In our memories. In the stories we tell.

We thank you, brave soldiers, for all you have given. Rest well, your war is over.

We will never forget you.

Memorial Day.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Fall To Enlightenment

A boy is born into a loving family. A family that is, at least on the surface, religious. As he grows, drastic changes occur in the family structure, but this does not alter the love he receives. In fact, family members further removed step in to fill a void left in the wake of, what some would call, a tragedy.

Fast forward a few years. It is time for the boy to begin his formal education. A decision is made, with the best of intentions, to provide a positive, religious education.

Schooling begins. Prayer, bible study, reading, writing, math, minimal science, physical education, and more prayer are the daily routine.

The boy learns. His worldview is completely encompassed by this system. On the weekends, he attends church. Yet each weekend may differ depending on who he is with. Different family members attend different denominational churches. Some abstain from church altogether. He integrates these myriad beliefs as best he can for a boy his age. He is impressionable. He believes because he is told to believe. He knows nothing else.

Time passes. The boy changes schools and locations every few years. New beliefs are introduced and further assimilated. His worldview expands slowly. It is during these transitions that the boy begins to notice discrepancies. Portions of his home life fail to coincide with what he is taught; with what he believes, yet he maintains his faith, because to do otherwise would lead to damnation. He is often taught, based on this belief structure, that the end is nigh. His young, impressionable mind interprets this as an importance on eternity and the afterlife, not something based in the present.

His education has now been shaped by many different people of "faith". Each teacher has their own interpretation regarding the strictures of their religion. Each imposes their belief onto their students. Those beliefs clash year after year.

Time continues its ceaseless march. The boy is older. Circumstances have dictated that he no longer attend private school. To the public education system he goes.

The boy's worldview is immediately shattered. He is different. What once was taught is now overlooked. What he has come to understand is now shaken to its core. He sees, and for the first time truly comprehends, that not everybody believes as he was told to believe.

His faith persists.
Life at home worsens.
His faith persists.

The opportunity presents itself for the boy to change his situation. With great trepidation he takes the chance to change.

He grows. Slowly he changed for the better. He is allowed to be a child on a regular basis. He misses parts of life left behind that brought him comfort, but those individuals will always remain close by. He does not yet realize that they're the ones who've shaped him the most, in the most positive way.

His faith persists, although not as piously as it used to be.

More moves take place with the passage of time: New schools, new friends, new experiences.

His faith isn't really faith any longer, but he still believes in what he was once taught.

School is now over. He is almost a man. He chooses to serve his country. He enlists. He embarks upon a new journey. This journey will expand his worldview to the breaking point and beyond.

A moment in time occurs that is singular in its significance. Not just to the boy, but to the entire world. It is the stone cast into the the water from which all ripples thereafter originate. Religions have collided in the most horrifying fashion. It is no longer history or some event taking place somewhere else. It becomes the present. It is reality.

Thus begins the fall from the mountain of faith. It is subtle, at first: barely perceptible. A catastrophe such as that cannot help but instill doubt.

The call to war is given, in essence if not in name. The man goes where he must.
The man's faith is resurgent.
A last ditch grasp for salvation.

It is a cold comfort.

His fall gathers momentum.

The doubt has bloomed to open questions.

The questions lead to realms outside of what he's known as truth. He's feels guilt. He openly proclaims to no longer be religious, yet nightly he asks forgiveness for his blasphemous ways.

He is a hypocrite.

He knows he no longer believes as he once did, yet yearns for the simplistic view he once had. He asks his God for peace.

There is no reply.

Free fall.

The man returns home. Changed. Again, he is different. The world no longer fits into its neat slot. The man meets a woman. They start a new life.

He chooses to educate himself further to better provide for his family. He knows what is in his heart yet refuses to give it voice. New knowledge is explored and devoured. His certainty grows.

He has stopped falling.

There is no terrible moment of impact.
His ideas have coalesced into a tangible structure.

His guilt evaporates.

He is at peace.

That man is me.
I am an Atheist.

I cannot say, with 100% certainty, that there is no higher power. What I can is this, what most people believe is, to me, absurd. Much greater minds than mine have spoken with more eloquence than I could ever hope to muster on why I choose not to believe.

If one prays and it comes to pass, God is gracious. If not, it is due to an unknowable, divine plan beyond our comprehension. And God is gracious.
You pray for guidance, happiness, good fortune, a new house, a new job, or success in an endeavor: thousands suffer and die all around.

What of their prayers?
What of eternal love?

Parables and fables pawned off as fact are ridiculous in every aspect unless they pertain to a belief structure.

The concept of sin is outlandish. We are born into sin? My sons, the most innocent creatures I've ever known, are destined for eternal torment unless they ask for the permission of peace, all because a mythical rib woman ate a piece of fruit that a snake told her about? Absurd. I want no part of this.

The idea that people, smaller than grains of sand when compared to an entire universe, can be so self centered and believe they are right when all evidence points to the contrary is ludicrous to me.

Denominations with the same religion cannot even agree with each other. Their books, the axioms of their faith, are flawed and full of contradictions. The answer to these questions? God's will.

The habit of the religious to accept only good of the belief as true while ignoring the bad, the inconvenient, and the contradictory is common. I have a problem with this.

The burden of proof is not on the Atheist. It is on the faithful. You've made your claim, now it must be shown to be true.

For those reading this, I am not attacking you personally. We must all find comforts where we can. We have that right. Be glad because many cannot claim that right. Yet I will NOT be afraid to share my thoughts. I do not begrudge your right, but as is my right, I will tell you why I do not believe. I will not murder you, stone you, curse you, set you ablaze, or brainwash you. I will let you, yourself, choose your own answer. It may be different than mine.

My enlightenment is not delivered from a pulpit. It isn't read from an ancient text. I am not divinely mandated. In ignorance of an answer, I will not claim "because God" just to satisfy my unease at not knowing something. I will search for an answer.

To quote Buddha, "I am a lantern and an island unto myself." My answers are not really answers at all, they are questions. They are logic and reason. I am comforted by what I know, by what see, and by what I do not know. I can always know more.

Not believing in a higher power has not turned me into a barbaric heathen. I still have morals and values and standards I adhere to, I just don't receive them from an imaginary friend.

Thank you for reading this far. It has been therapeutic for me. A type of catharsis, if you will. Be well.






Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Dancers To A Discordant System

Listen to the hidden tune
- The essence of lies in notes defined
As we dance to the dissonant sway
- The choreography refined
Will subdued and shackled
Reason washed aside
Pledging our love to the chains
Our ignorance ever-amplified

Blooded hands lead the waltz
We're trapped in the out of tune swirl
Still we set the show on continue mode
And dance to a discordant system

We accept the nails we're fed
- Lies sharpened to bleed us silent
Muted from the pains
Defiance employed in vain
Any attempts to leave the dance,
Invisibly suppressed
Questions unasked, we learn learn the steps
- Eyes shut like all the rest

Unsuspecting, willing, blind, controllable herd
Pawns in a covert game conducted by hands we trust
Dominated, compliant and deceptable
Confident that we matter - we don't see that we're but dust

Committed to a lie we cannot see, cannot know nor comprehend
We're all asinine drones kept in the dark, kept in line

Confined, Bereft of reason
Withering in toxicity
- The deadly fumes of deceit
And we all reek of complicity
Humbled, brought to our knees
By the weight of our own guilt
Our nescient ways the catalyst
To injustice and inhumanity

We dance - to appease
Compete in stupidity

Obscured faces file our points
- Numbers fed to the machine
Still we stand in line for the next show
The human spine liquefied
What are we, but stupefied
Dancers to a discordant system

We believe - so we're misled
We assume - so we're played
We confide - so we're deceived
We trust - so we're betrayed

~ Meshuggah